JOKES FOR THE DAY

These are mostly jokes harvested from online comments. We won’t know the contributors, but it’s only right I display the credits. These one-liners require certain level of IQ. Are you quick to the punchline? Test your intelligence here. It’s better than the standard IQ test.

I have a Statistics joke but it’s not significant (Dr Michele V)

I have a Philosophy joke but I don’t understand it   (TanaBobby Campbe)

I have a Civil Engineering joke but it’s still under construction (Chike Nel Chekwas)

I have an Economics joke but it’s not in demand (Hafiz Aboki Zanwa)

I have a Geography joke but I don’ know where it is (Oli Mold)

I have a Plumbing joke but it’s shit (Jono Meikie)

I have a Calculus joke but I don’ know where it is derived from (Vincent Drum)

I have a Geology joke but it didn’t rock (Dejana Van Gestal)

I have a Solipsism joke but no one else gets it (John Bedard)

I have a Lawyer joke but it has lost it’s appeal (Adam Strauss)

I have a Chemistry joke but it never gets a reaction (Marike Louise)

I have a Food joke but it’s a bit tasteless (Andrew Heppinstall)

I have a Sodium joke but NA, people wouldn’t like it (Debra Savage)

I have a Journalism joke but it got edited (Mathew Mayer)

I have a Jazz joke but it’s blue (Andrew Jordan)

I have a Schrodinger joke ….. or do I? (Alison Blakey)

I have a Retiree joke but I don’t tell it anymore (Mark Muncie)

I have a History joke but it’s really dated (Josh Flowers)

I have a History joke but someone rewrote it (Cheryl Lynn)

I have a Records Management joke but I didn’t retain it (Helen Streck)

I have a Black Hole joke but it really sucks (Mike Salvi)

I have an Immunology joke but no one gets it (Krista Landon)

I have an Immunology joke, I heard it went viral (Teri Sterns)

I have a Freudian joke but it slipped my mind (Nadine Sturges LuluL)

I have a Musical joke but it’s flat (Selai Wainiqolo)

I have a Medicine joke and it’s so sick (Kevin John)

I have a Geometry joke and it’s kinda square (Hob Reese)

I have a Carpenter joke but I got hammered and forgotten it. I’ll nail it next time (Jason Craig)

I have a Tiling joke but it’s out of line (Colaza Tro)

I have a Time Travel joke but you guys didn’t laugh (Jim Matheson)

I have an Acupuncture joke but there’s no point telling it (Simon Sheridan)

I have a Bread joke but it’s stale (Alan Husby)

I have a Yeast joke somewhere but I’m too lazy to rise up to find it (Rene Moses)

I have an Apathy joke but I’m sure you won’t care to listen (Charles Johnson)

I have a Chicken joke but I get eggs on my face whenever I tell it (Michelle Srop)

I have an Paleontology joke but it’s gotten old and stale (Matt Graesch)

I have a Linguistic joke but I can’t find the right words for it (Kristan Overstreet)

I have a Polish joke but I need to polish it up (Bartosz Rawski)

I have a Gardening joke but it’s dirty (Scot Rockwell)

I have an Electricity joke but it’s not current (Norman Wooten)

I have an Electricity joke but it’s too shocking for you (Dave McManus)

I have a Finance joke but it doesn’t raise much interest (Patrick Lefebvre)

I have an Editing joke but when I tell it, my wife said to cut it out (Garry Hayner)

I have a Pi joke but it just goes on and on (Jacqui Macias Tiell)

I have a Media joke but I can’t broadcast it (Aimee Fitzgerald)

I have a Communism joke but it’s not funny unless everybody gets it (Michael Dowling)

I have a Current Event joke but it’s history now (Wayne Rosenwinkel)

I have an Artist joke but it got the brush-off (Anne Lane)

I have a Skydiver joke but it always falls flat (Krista Landon)

I have a Legal Issue joke but it’s really not appealing (Karyn Vampotic)

I have a Nutrition joke but it’s hard to digest (James Furnish)

I have a Physics joke but it doesn’t matter if you can't catch it   (Laura FH)

I have an Illustrator joke but it’s too graphic (Pat Taylor)

I have an Amnesia joke but I have forgotten about it (Pal Meehan)

I have a Golf joke but it’s not up to par (Josh Milligan)

I have a Chef joke but it’s half-baked (Holly Ridley)

I have a Hotel joke but there’s no room for laughter here (David Foxx)

I have a Software joke but it needs to be updated (Asma Waqar)

I have a Pizza joke but it’s too cheesy (Daniel O’Dell)

I have a Banking joke but I’m too withdrawn to tell it (Melanie Sorsdahl)

I have an Aesthetics joke but it’s in poor taste (Fores McDonald)

I have a Clintons joke but it’s not Hilarious (Chris Bott)

I have a Culture joke but it got cancelled (Asma Wager)

I have a Porn joke but it’s so hard to tell it (Ivan Myers)

I have a Reincarnation joke but it’s only funny the first time (John Bedard)

I have an Advertising joke but no one knows about it (Kalpesh Patel)

I have a Religion joke but you wouldn’t believe it (Brian Criss)

I have a Sonography joke but you can’t hear it (Bianca Docee)

I have a Surgery joke but the admin will remove the content (Arjun Athmaram)

I have a Sauna joke but it’s just too steamy to tell (Dave Bucci)

I have a Hooker joke but it sucks (Summer Jones)

I have an Undertaker joke but I don’t know if people are dying to hear it (Stephen Buckley)

I have a Satanic joke but I shouldn’t be telling it … heck, the Hell with it (John Bedard)

I have a Neurological joke but I don’t have the nerves to tell it (Shomer Halahawi)

I have a Geoetechnical Drilling joke but it’s such a boring one (Liz Buchanan)

I have a Hamas joke but it’s so explosive I may get a POFMA (Pat)

I have a Politician joke but it’s the usual lies and corruption stuff so I elected not to tell it (Pat)

I have an Ishwaran and Formula 1 Racing joke but I don't know where to start (Pat)

I have a Seamstress joke but it may leave you in stitches (Pat)

I have a Farming joke but you won’t dig it (Pat)

I have an Earthquake joke but it will be my fault if anyone dies laughing (Pat)

I have an Undertaker joke but actually it’s really dead serious and of grave concern (Pat)

I have a Pencil joke but I see no point in telling it (Pat)

I have a Proctology joke but it’s all shit (Pat)

 

TEST YOUR LEVEL OF INTELLIGENCE 

 

How many of the jokes did you laugh at: 

All the jokes - super intelligent 

Above 60      - very intelligent 

40 – 60         - average 

Below 40      - …… 

SORRY, I WAS ONLY JOKING, DON’T BE SO SERIOUS.

Laughing at a joke depends on more than understanding it. It also depends on your mood, disposition, and what sort of funny bone you have. 

A parting shout out :

Plato said:
“The price good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men.”
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