PAP JOKES OF THE DAY 2

At each parliamentary session, all MPs flock into parliament like sheep. Most fall asleep soon after.
Can’t blame them. They herd all those speeches before.

Did Minister Cotton Chan support the sanction on Russia?
I’m sure he did. He doesn’t like competition from lenin.

If you ask Minister Chan which cotton is the best, he will surely say Egyptian Cotton.
Why? Because his Mummy says so.

Education Minister Chan made a visit to a primary school where a freshie first year student told him of his error of the century – that cotton didn’t come from sheep. The little kid told him wool came from sheep. The PAP scholar suddenly had a bright idea. He rushed to the Minister of Trade and Industry with a proposal to make wool steel.

We are lucky Lee Hsien Loong is passing the baton to Lawrence Wong.
Had it been Chan Chun Seng, Singapore could have ended up with a dictatorsheep.

If you ask Goh Chok Tong how much money you can squeeze into a peanut, he will say Mrs Goh once told him about $600,000.

One day at a parliamentary session, all MPs received a text message in their mobile. Later at the canteen break, they all realised they received the same crisp message that said :

 “370HSSV-0773H” 

 A small commotion followed as they puzzled over it. No one could decode it. That was until Ah Peh, the busybody coffee-boy, poked his nose in. One look and he told the scholars “Ai ya, you are all looking at the message upside down”.

Senior Minister of State for Health Janil Puthucheary, once visited the Institute of Mental Health. On a tour of the facilities he came across a room with a bath tub filled with water, a spoon, a mug, and a pail. Curious, he asked what’s this for? He was told this is where they test the patient's mental acuity. The subject is asked to pick which they will use to empty the tub of water fastest. The Minister smiled and said “It’s obvious if he is not a nut he will pick the pail”. Silence followed. The accompanying psychiatrists were too embarrassed to respond. Then Ahmad, the room attendant who was moping the floor nearby, said “No Sir, he should pull the plug.”

Minister Janil was shown another room where a test was in progress. There was a patient, an elderly man in his 50s, and a tester in the room. The light was then turned out and the room was in total darkness. The good minister was taken aback and one of the psychiatrists explained. "In this test, the tester will shine a torchlight up to the ceiling and ask the patient to climb up. Should he attempt to climb, of course, we know he is gone. Shhhh, let's watch."
Sure enough, the tester shone the torchlight up the ceiling and invited the old man to climb the beam of light. The old man backed off, refusing to climb.
The minister heaved a sigh of relief and said "Ah good. Now we know this chap still has his senses."
The psychiatrist said "Sir we don't conclude from observations. We pry into the subjects' minds, that's what we do. Shhhh. Watch."
The light came back on in the room. The tester appeared pleased and asked the old man why wouldn't he climb the lightbeam?
The old man said "Doctor, you think I'm crazy? What if I climb up halfway and you switch off the torchlight."

Remember a decade ago SMRT was beset with train breakdown issues all because million dollar salaried CEO Saw Phaik Hwa cut back maintenance to booster bottom line? All Singaporeans knew it was policy error except the CEO and the Transport Minister. Notwithstanding the Mercedes parked at her home, she still has appeal to some as she is apparently the low maintenance type.

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